fbpx
Categories: Quotes

50 Funny Motivational Quotes To Put A Smile On Your Face

1. “The elevator to success is out of order. You’ll have to use the stairs, one step at a time.” Joe Girard


2. “People often say that motivation doesn’t last. Well, neither does bathing – that’s why we recommend it daily.” Zig Ziglar


3. “I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realise I should have been more specific.” Lily Tomlin


4. “I am so clever that sometimes I don’t understand a single word of what I am saying.” Oscar Wilde


5. “People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day.” Winnie the Pooh


6. “Life is like a sewer… what you get out of it depends on what you put into it.” Tom Lehrer


7. “You can’t have everything. Where would you put it?” Steven Wright


8. “Work until your bank account looks like a phone number.” Unknown


9. “Change is not a four letter word… but often your reaction to it is!” Jeffrey Gitomer


10. “If you think you are too small to make a difference, try sleeping with a mosquito.” Dalai Lama


11. “Bad decisions make good stories.” Ellis Vidler


12. “I’ll probably never fully become what I wanted to be when I grew up, but that’s probably because I wanted to be a ninja princess.” Cassandra Duffy


13. “When life gives you lemons, squirt someone in the eye.” Cathy Guisewite


14. “A clear conscience is a sure sign of a bad memory.” Mark Twain


15. “Well-behaved women seldom make history.” Laurel Thatcher Ulrich


16. “I didn’t fail the test. I just found 100 ways to do it wrong.” Benjamin Franklin


17. “I used to think I was indecisive, but now I’m not so sure.” Unknown


18. “Don’t worry about the world coming to an end today. It’s already tomorrow in Australia.” Charles Schulz


19. “Think like a proton. Always positive.” Unknown


20. “Be happy – it drives people crazy.” Unknown


21. “Optimist: someone who figures that taking a step backward after taking a step forward is not a disaster, it’s more like a cha-cha.” Robert Brault


22. “The question isn’t who is going to let me, it’s who is going to stop me.” Ayn Rand.


23. “You’re only given a little spark of madness. You mustn’t lose it.” Robin Williams


24. “I am an early bird and a night owl… so I am wise and I have worms” Michael Scott


25. “If you let your head get too big, it’ll break your neck.” Elvis Presley


26. “The road to success is dotted with many tempting parking spaces.” Will Rogers


27. “Leadership is the art of getting someone else to do something you want done because he wants to do it.” Dwight D. Eisenhower


28. “Live each day like it’s your second to the last. That way you can fall asleep at night.” Jason Love


29. “Even a stopped clock is right twice every day. After some years, it can boast of a long series of successes.” Marie Von Ebner-Eschenbach


30. “Honest criticism is hard to take, particularly from a relative, a friend, an acquaintance, or a stranger.” Franklin P. Jones


31.“I believe that if life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade… And try to find somebody whose life has given them vodka, and have a party.” Ron White


32. “Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work.” Thomas Eddison


33. “A diamond is merely a lump of coal that did well under pressure.” Unknown


34. “Nothing is impossible, the word itself says “I’m possible!” Audrey Hepburn


35. “Friendship is like peeing on yourself: everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling that it brings.” Robert Bloch


36. “Women who seek to be equal with men lack ambition.” Marilyn Monroe


37. “By working faithfully eight hours a day you may eventually get to be boss and work twelve hours a day.” Robert Frost


38. “The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it.” Terry Pratchett


39. “Age is of no importance unless you’re a cheese.” Billie Burke


40. “When tempted to fight fire with fire, remember that the Fire Department usually uses water.” Unknown


How about some Friday de-motivation?

Bit of a cynic?

Do you agree that inspirational quotes are silly, boring and useless?

Well, here are some de-motivational (slightly sarcastic) quotes, just for you!


41. “Trying is the first step toward failure.” Homer Simpson


42. “Happiness is just sadness that hasn’t happened yet.” Unknown


43. “The best things in life are actually really expensive.” Unknown


44. “Every tattoo is temporary, because we’re all slowly dying.” Unknown


45. “A few harmless flakes working together can unleash an avalanche of destruction.” Justin Sewell


46. “Dreams are like rainbows. Only idiots chase them.” Unknown


47. “It could be that your purpose in life is to serve as a warning to others.”  Ashleigh Brilliant


48. “If the world didn’t suck we’d all fly into space.” Unknown


49. “The light at the end of the tunnel has been turned off due to budget cuts.” Unknown


50. “Always remember that you are unique – just like everybody else.” Unknown

funny

Recent Posts

REST IN PEACE Air Force veteran with no family or friends to be laid to rest in Nashville

REST IN PEACE Air Force veteran with no family or friends to be laid to rest in Nashville

From 1981 to 1997 SSGT Lyndon Burl Badgett served our country in the United States Air Force and Air Force Reserve. Now, a… Read More

1 day ago
Trump 8 FACTS that Fake News CNN will ignore in climate ahead of 2020 forum

Trump 8 FACTS that Fake News CNN will ignore in climate ahead of 2020 forum

https://twitter.com/realDonaldTrump/status/1169356701943894017?s=19 President Donald Trump blasted CNN Wednesday afternoon just ahead of its climate-focused Democratic presidential forum, arguing it would likely… Read More

2 weeks ago
Best 29+ funny back-to-school jokes

Best 29+ funny back-to-school jokes

Summer vacation is over, and that’s no laughing matter. But you can go back to the classroom with a smile… Read More

3 weeks ago
Back-to-school time is about second guessing yourself for special needs parents

Back-to-school time is about second guessing yourself for special needs parents

Jill Marshall is a native of New York, living in Culver City, California, with her husband and two daughters. She… Read More

3 weeks ago
How to Be Funny – Easy Steps with Sample Jokes

How to Be Funny – Easy Steps with Sample Jokes

How to Be Funny Easy Steps with Sample Jokes Humor can help you connect with other people and make unpleasant… Read More

2 months ago
A Mother in Florida Faces Up to 30 Years in Jail After Recording Daughter Licking Tongue Depressor at Doctor’s Office Putting it Back

A Mother in Florida Faces Up to 30 Years in Jail After Recording Daughter Licking Tongue Depressor at Doctor’s Office Putting it Back

A mother in Florida could face up to 30 years in prison after she recorded and posted a video of… Read More

2 months ago
close

Log In

Forgot password?

Forgot password?

Enter your account data and we will send you a link to reset your password.

Your password reset link appears to be invalid or expired.

Log in

Privacy Policy

To use social login you have to agree with the storage and handling of your data by this website. %privacy_policy%

Add to Collection

No Collections

Here you'll find all collections you've created before.